Attack of the Minions
by cheri1
Summary: Ten and Rose. Fluff. Crossover with Despicable Me. After watching Despicable Me 2 one night, Rose goes to sleep and has a very strange dream. FINISHED.


A/N: Just a bit of silliness. I had this idea after watching Despicable Me 2.

Rose yawned and stretched. It was late night in the TARDIS and she had just finished watching Despicable Me 2 before going to bed. The movie was cute and she loved the little Minions with their antics. To her, they were the highlight of the film and she decided she would try to get the Doctor interested in it and the first movie one night. For the moment though, she was tired and wanted to go to bed. So she switched off the TV, cleaned up and then headed to her room.

(Two hours later while Rose is fast asleep and dreaming…)

Dream Rose was sitting on the jump seat inside the TARDIS Console Room. She was alone with nothing but the sound of the TARDIS rotor to comfort her. She looked around, wondering where the Ninth Doctor and Jack were. She was about to go and look for them when to her surprise, the Ninth Doctor entered. Except he didn't look human, he looked like a one eyed Minion wearing a green jumper and black jacket. Minion Doctor spied Rose and waved.

"Bwa dwah, Rose," he said cheerfully before heading her way.

"Doctor?" Rose said in shock. "What happened to you?"

Minion Doctor stopped and stared at her in confusion.

"Dwe?" he said, pointing to himself.

"Um…yes, you," Rose said, guessing what he was saying. "What happened to you?"

Minion Doctor stared at her silently before shrugging and walking to the console. She watched as he walked around the far end of the console and slowly pushed a small stepladder around to the front. He pushed it against the console, climbed up and whistled cheerfully while he flipped switches. While he was doing that, Jack entered or rather naked Minion Jack did, wearing nothing but a grin and goggles over his two eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he yelled as he shimmied his butt at Rose. "Be Boo Dwah!" he added impishly as he pointed at his ass.

"Jack! BOO DWAH DEE NOW!" Minion Doctor yelled at Minion Jack.

Minion Jack ignored him as he shimmied and danced around, mooning Rose while he pointed to his ass. Minion Doctor rolled his eyes, walked down his stepladder and walked over to him. Rose watched with shock while Minion Doctor walked up, slapped Jack and yelled at him in some unintelligible language, Minion Jack stopped and stared at him in shock before slapping him back. Then the two of them began slap fighting one another while Rose decided something had to be done.

"Alright! Enough!" Rose said, walking towards them. "Stop behaving like children!"

The two minions stopped and stared at her.

"Rose, bwa dwah!" Minion Doctor said as he pointed at Jack.

Minion Jack grinned and pointed to his penis.

"Hey, hey, hey, Rose!" he said, leering at her.

He gasped when Minion Doctor slapped his face and Rose sighed when the slap fight began again. She was about to say something when to her surprise Minion Ten strolled into the room, whistling cheerfully. He was dressed in a white shirt, brown pinstriped jacket top and his long coat. Unlike Jack and Nine, he had a full head of spiky hair on top of his yellow head. He was also carrying a bouquet of thirteen long stemmed, red roses. He ignored the stunned Nine and Jack who by now had stopped their fight to watch him and walked over to Rose.

"Rooooose," he said lovingly as he held out the bouquet to her.

"Um…thanks," Rose said, taking the roses from him.

Minion Nine's mouth dropped open when Minion Ten took Rose's free hand and began to lavish kisses on the back of it.

"Oi!" Nine yelled to Ten while he continued to kiss her hand. "Rose mine!"

He and Jack walked over to Minion Ten who by now had produced a small mandolin from nowhere and was singing loudly and off-key to Rose while he strummed it. Nine snatched the mandolin from Ten's grasp and flung it away.

"Rose mine!" Nine said to him while Jack watched with interest.

"No!" Ten said vehemently, "Rose mine, you bwah dah dah!"

"Oooo…" Jack said when Nine's jaw dropped open at the vulgar insult.

Rose sighed when Nine and Ten began slap fighting one another. While they were doing that, Minion Jack walked around them and pointed to his penis.

"Eh?" he said hopefully to Rose while Nine and Ten continued to scuffle.

"Not interested," Rose said.

"Eh?" Jack said, trying again to stir up interest while he pointed to his penis. "Boo bee dwah, Rose."

"Oi!" Nine said, violently shoving him when he finally saw what Jack was doing.

"Seriously?" Rose groaned when the three minions began to slap fight one another and speak jibberish. "Okay, leaving now. Have fun sorting things out."

She stood up and walked past the three minions, ignoring the shouts of "ROSE, MINE!" as she headed out of the room.

(Several hours later in the real world…)

The real Tenth Doctor was sitting on his jump seat in the Console Room, reading a magazine while the TARDIS spun her way through the vortex. He turned a page, reading an article when he heard someone clearing his throat. He looked up at Rose who was now beside the seat.

"I'm never watching the Despicable Me films ever, ever again," she said.

The Doctor was about to ask why not but Rose turned and without another word, walked out of the room. The Doctor watched her go, confused about what made her say that. Then he figured it was best if he didn't ask and turned his attention back to his magazine.

THE END.


End file.
